The new school year is upon us and as we go into it three
questions come to the forefront for parents.
>
What are our goals for our children lives? (not what do we want them to do, but rather, what do we want them to be)
>
What do we want our children to know about God, if anything?
>
How do we want to help our children grow this year?
Recently I had lunch with a young man around seventeen
who has some questions about life. In
the midst of the conversation he said to me, “I’m not really sure what the
Bible says or what it means, but I sure would like to know.”
This young man was not new to the church, he was there
every Sunday since childhood. He had
participated in youth events, been on mission trips, and is generally viewed as
a “good” kid.
So, I delved deeper and I asked him, “As you were growing
up and you talked with your parents about life and about God what did you learn
from them?”
He answered, “My parents never talked with me about
God. They took me to church, but they
never discussed it with me.”
I asked, “Did they ever pray with you.”
“At meals,” was his answer.
We have here a young man who grew up in a good family,
was in church every week, had all his physical and emotional needs met, but at
seventeen feels a bit lost and has no real sense of his own identity or the
love of God in his life.
As parents we get caught up in the world around us, in
busyness, in our lives, and we forget that the schools, and friends, and
teachers and coaches are spending more time with our children then we are. Our window for influence is small and because
of that we must be intentional in our parenting with our children.
Over the course of the next ten months they will learn
many things that will shape their future.
We, as parents, are called to be the caretakers of our children, to help
them grow and become the people that God wants them to be, and the things that
they learn in the days ahead will help determine who they will become, and most
of the time, they will be learning from someone besides us.
We have
the chance now – to shape our children as God would want, and it does not
matter what age they are. Yes, it is harder
to get in when they are older. We know
we can shape the infant, but not always when they are teens because they have
years of life built up. But still, God
can strengthen us to do so.
Travis was a young man I knew years ago. He died way too young at age 21, but he made
a profound impact on people around him.
When I met he as a 16 year old he was an angry young man. His dad had left him, his brothers and
mothers for someone else, and had said to his face "I don't want anything
else to do with you," and meant it.
I had the joy of being in Travis life as he overcame this
hurt, discovered how deeply God loved him, and spent his days sharing that love
with others around him. At his funeral
his dad came to me, and said, “I really blew it with him, didn’t I” He was looking for sympathy, and I looked
him in the eyes, and said, “You did more damage than anyone could ever imagine
to your son by not being a father to him, and yet he was healed by the love of
God. Just think who he would have been
had you loved him like you should have, and here’s the thing, you still have
that chance with two other boys”
He walked away. He
never took advantage of his opportunity.
Let’s look down the road to ages 18 or 22, or 25, What kind of people do we want our children
to be?
Do
we want them to be independent?
Do
we want them to have a great compassion for the world around them?
Do
we want them to give back generously from what God has blessed them with?
Do
we want them to be equipped with knowledge and vocational skills?
Do
we want them to have a hope and faith in God?
Do
we want them to be able to give an answer for the faith we have?
If we want these things for our children, then we must
teach and model them and the time to start is now. Some day we are going to send them out on
their own. That day is going to come
sooner than we think. It will be here in
a blink of an eye. I just looked around and my daughter is 8 years old, my son
will be six soon. A week ago he had all
his baby teeth, they went to see my parents, one tooth is gone, a new one is
coming in, and a second one is about to fall out.
Before I know it they will be living on their own, and I
have dreams and visions for their lives, not in what they will do, but in who
they will be, and my time for teaching them grows shorter everyday.
So let us begin today.
Let us intentionally parent our children so that they may become all
that God is calling them to be.
